Being young, queer, and sober.

Being young, queer, and getting sober.

Hello, I'm Max Micallef, Pink Cloud's Press and Public Policy Director.

Though hands-on experience has been the primary driver of my professional growth, my academic background aligns with my role at Pink Cloud. I studied political science with a minor in sociology in college, but I found that sociology provided the most insight into both my field and the broader workings of the world. This perspective has also been invaluable in understanding my own sobriety journey.

I identify as queer in both sexual orientation and gender identity. In terms of sexual orientation, I am attracted to individuals on a "case-by-case" basis, regardless of gender. As for my gender identity, I use any pronouns. You would really have to be trying hard to misgender me.

I mention this because I belong to the oldest birth year still categorized as Gen Z—1997 (if I have my dates right). As Gen Z LGBTQ+ individuals increasingly shape mainstream queer culture, older traditions, even those of Millennials, are beginning to fade. While change can be bittersweet for some, I absolutely view this shift as positive, especially concerning substance use within the queer community. There is now less pressure for queer social spaces to revolve around alcohol and drug consumption. While queer bars and clubs remain “safe spaces”, Gen Z has fostered an environment where moderation is more common, and sobriety is respected rather than stigmatized. This is, in my eyes, progress and modernization.

However, my personal experience has been a bit more complex.

This cultural shift has only taken place in recent years. Ironically, I stopped drinking and using hard drugs at the age of 21, right in the middle of my college experience. Beyond the widespread normalization of binge drinking in college, I was also influenced by the queer community's historic association with heavy substance use.

Although I take full responsibility for my pre-recovery behavior, it didn’t help that excessive drinking and drug use were considered normal within my social circles. In those environments, problematic behavior often went unchecked because it was simply part of the experience. Many of us exhibited self-destructive habits, and rather than calling it out, our peers dismissed it as "just college" or "a typical night at the gay bar." I heard both justifications frequently.

In my case, genetic addiction ran in my family, and on top of this, I was unconsciously trying to detach from trauma I didn’t even know existed. My hangovers exacerbated my untreated clinical depression and anxiety, pushing me toward a dangerous tipping point. I was on a path where a single blackout decision could have completely ruined, or even ended my life. What ultimately worked for me was seeking both a psychologist and a psychiatrist as well as quitting cold turkey. I recognize that these resources aren’t accessible to everyone, and for that, I am deeply grateful.

The first three months of sobriety were socially isolating. I felt disconnected from my peers, both in general and within the queer community. But with time, I came to understand that this exclusion, though deeply felt, was a false construct. Sobriety was one of the best decisions I have ever made for myself.

I firmly believe that no sobriety journey is linear, nor does it follow a simple "1+1=2" equation. Sociology teaches that our internal sense of self is shaped by our external world—a concept I find to be true. Sobriety is a process of rediscovery, of peeling back the many layers that have built up over time. Humans do not exist in sioled isolation; we are intersectional beings. While that complexity can sometimes be overwhelming, it also makes life beautiful and endlessly fascinating.

As a queer person who embraced sobriety at a young age, I have found a more grounded and authentic place in society. My connections with peers feel more genuine, and my relationship with the broader queer community is healthier. I feel good about where I am today, and I look forward to navigating my future as a sober individual with curiosity and confidence.